So how do we engage? We can hone our ability to be sensitive to the signals of distress in others with our own senses: what are we seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling? Once we determine someone is in distress, we may feel sympathy (feel sorrow for another’s troubles); empathy (understand and share the feelings of one in distress); and compassion (willingness to relieve the distress of another). In this model, we are striving for compassion. And in our compassion and concern, we may be moved to action. Typically, there will be three choices: (1) to pass by; (2) to observe; (3) to approach.
During this process, it is very important to know that we must learn to listen to our own “inner voice”. If we sense we are in danger or just “have a feeling” things don’t look right, it’s OK to not engage and not feel guilty about it. We should engage only if we ourselves feel safe in doing so in a particular situation while discerning the willingness of the other person to accept help. Remember – companionship is a process, not just a moment in time. It is Awareness, Connection, Partnership, Mutuality. Your current relationships most likely didn’t happen overnight, and neither will these companionship relationships.
